Evaluative Blog #1 on Gifting

As Marisol Ramos made clear in her blog about Gifting, as a society we are completely hung up on this notion and what it means for us as being accepted people to those that we exchange gifts with. We are permanently stuck in Christmas mode where the gifting never stops. Before I make my next point I will directly call to its attention that Hannah Alfred made this exact point in her blog about gifting, but I wrote this connection to “Happy Birthday” posts before I got a chance to read it personally. This shows that multiple people in the same age group are recognizing that there is a gifting pattern that is specified to this phrase on a specific day and all of the expectations and emotions that are connected to it. 

We have made social media so much of a “gifting” aspect in life that we are deeply and permanently hurt and offended if we do not get tagged in a “Happy Birthday” post by all of our Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter friends that we usually never talk to on a regular basis and our extended family twice removed when this one special day rolls around. As Mauss puts it “A considerable part of our morality and our lives themselves are still permeated with this same atmosphere of the gift, where obligation and liberty intermingle,” (Mauss). Recently, I heard a fellow classmate state that the only reason they use their Instagram is to mainly post “Happy Birthday” posts to their friends, meaning that their Instagram is just one big gifting machine, even if the the gift in return is simply a like or a “thank you!” comment. But sometimes this small gift is enough to make us feel like we have done a good deed and that we have improved the life of another, because let’s be honest, we aren’t just doing this to benefit others, self gratification is a huge aspect. 

A sense of expectation and entitlement is involved with this gift giving through tagged selfies and forced candids on days such as birthdays because the sharing of memories and the portrayal of relationships can only reach its' full potential by being included in the world of social media; in-person gifting is not enough. Megan Larsen’s blog post on gifting correlated directly with this point of this expectation and self-interest reasoning behind giving anything in the first place. “If we give someone a gift, we expect to receive a gift back. There is an underlying self-interest behind gifting,” (Larson). This concept of interest has made a shift from being simply a term used in the accounting sense to describe sums of interest that had to be collected, to a term that is connected to self (Mauss). Have we as a culture moved to far into this “love me and accept me” desire via social media that we can no longer fully appreciate an in person relationship unless there is a social media relationship attached? As long as this gifting expectation exists, which it always has, as we saw most apparently with Polynesian tribes in the reading by Mauss, this phenomena will continue to thrive, ruin friendships, and divide families; all due to a gift in the form of a social media post. 

While seemingly self-interested birthday posts may take on the role of a  more “pure gift” as Mauss describes, this self-interest can also take shape in a profit, business level where you are getting actual funding in return for the gifting that you share with a larger community and this gifting makes a shift to a more “pure barter” gift. For example, celebrities being the spokesperson for certain products, brands, and movements. You know those Instagram models who promote teeth-whitening products, tea, and makeup? Yeah. Their gifting gets them followers, likes, comments, and a profit. But most of us don’t even get a fraction of that kind of gifting in return, yet we still give, give, give. Take this blog for example. I know that I will not get a huge reaction from the small number of interested readers who may be out there, but I gift my mediocre knowledge and desperate opinion in hopes of being gifted a good grade in this course and positive comments from my professor that I didn’t completely miss the point. True, part of it is due to my moral obligation to at least try and not be a slacker, but it is not a concrete exchange that I can count on; I hope and gift anyway. 

On Instagram you cannot make it one day without seeing comments under the posts of your followers and of those on your search feed of low-key exasperations when someone was not given photo credit or was not tagged specifically in the group photo. As participants and creators of the social media golden age we want to matter, be included, and feel like we have been given a place and sense of worthiness in someone else’s life. This want has moved from just wanting to be asked to hang out or acknowledged in public, to wanting to be added on every form of social media possible, as well as being in constant contact on all of these forms to solidify your worth as a gift giver and as a receiver of these gifts. 

It totally is a popularity contest, as Marisol points out in her post, even if you are a casual social media user; you are still sucked into the vortex of being cool, accepted, “liked”, and “shared”. "Social media is another popularity contest, but rather than having to impress the 50 “cool kids” in your run-down town, you are now given an entirely never-ending audience of people," (Ramos). There is a sense of wanting to be remembered, hence the constant and unnecessary “throwback” posts; a constant asking to be remembered and to be gifted with a sentimental comment or like. We indeed want to be praised and that level of praise is dependent on what form of social media you are using, what content you have posted, and what message you are trying to portray and to whom. The question becomes what is real and what is not. 

The more I personally get involved on social media and in “real-life” in living, breathing social circles, the divide between social media and real life becomes even wider, rather than more interconnected and in sync. Why? One life is more real and one is more “put on”. A relationship with one person on social media may be completely different in person. This ups the complexity of life in general and the connections we have with people, further calling into question when the right time is to give a gift, to whom, and what type of gift is acceptable. It is a guessing game that can go really well or horribly wrong; wrong being not receiving acknowledgment for your gift at the very least. 

We like to hide behind our technology, which is why we have come to put such a high price and expectation for satisfaction on social media and the gifting that goes along with that. Millennials are portrayed as a very “giving” generation due to the significantly less gifts we get in return, but yet we still continue to be active and giving on social media regardless. There is a significantly greater willingness to give via social media rather than to give via the community, to your friends, family, or organizations you are involved in. As Hannah described it,“It creates a “give and take” persona that is much more easily accepted through  a virtual world rather than reality,” (Alfred). Spot on. 

Depending on where it is applied, the glamour and willingness to gift changes slightly, but not enough to cut it out of certain parts of life completely. We are controlled by gifting, but do we have the ability to break free of this control? That is the million dollar question that will change depending on who you ask.